Friday, November 6

Proof of Something!

As I'm sure you can imagine, my discovery of something that is clearly not nothing in the kingdom of Mr. Motorcycle was not a subject I dropped. No, it was a subject I used my Supper Naggy Strength on to get the kinds of answers only a woman who has married a man that is know for being up to something needs to get.

I was relentless and used every trick in the book. Okay, maybe not all of them, some of them I am saving for even more nefarious scenes.

Nothing was:
  • Never before seen on lifehacker.com (although a very good website that Mr. Motorcycle should stay the hell away from)
  • Slightly dangerous with little pokey things, sharp edges and a pair of formidable scissors
  • Had nothing to do with whatever it was Shelly and her college roommate were up to
  • Left on the workbench almost as it were forgotten and seemed unrelated to anything else going on in the kingdom
  • Sadly for Kathy Howe, in a former life that was a Diet Sprite can, so it can not contribute to the beer can hat of her dreams
  • not related to the construction of tuberous vegetable weaponry (although now he has ideas for that I'm sure)
Returning to the Scene of the Inquisition/Crime

CursingMama (CM): Just tell me what it is and I'll get off your case.

Mr.Motorcycle (Him): Fine, its a metal shim for the forward control shift arm and lever on my bike.

CM hears "it is a metal shim for a vital piece of equipment that keeps the motorcycle from killing me"

CM: You're kidding me. What is it really?

Him: I told you, I was trying to make a metal shim for the forward control shift arm and lever.

CM hears "Yes! I am using a piece of flimsy pop can to keep my motorcycle together so I can ride it super fast"

CM: That doesn't sound very smart. Can't you use glue or something?

Him is clearly exasperated by CM but soldiers on.

Him: Glue doesn't work on chrome. All I needed was a little piece of metal to keep things from slipping.

CM hears "I ride so fast that the thing just literally vibrates apart! There is no way glue could do that kind of job. This little piece of flimsy metal will keep that speed control army deal bopper thing from just flying off the bike while I'm riding."

CM: Did it work?

Him: Nope

End Scene

I don't know what he has done to keep that speed control army deal bopper thing from just flying off. I'm guessing glue, although I don't know how I feel about his motorcycle being glued together either.

7 comments:

kmkat said...

Reminds me of the time Smokey proposed making a vital internal engine part out of wood b/c he was pretty sure he couldn't find a real one (car was obsolete; that's the only kind he likes). Men; aren't they lucky they have us to say, "That is just NUTS! Think again! If you kill yourself before the kids are grown I will personally kill you myself!"

Keri said...

holy shite. That is all.

Jeanne said...

Actually, that is a bit of a let down.

Chris said...

I think he's fibbing.

Kathy Howe said...

Well it's a good thing he didn't make me a beer can hat out of a Diet Sprite can because I'm allergic to Diet everything.

Shelly said...

If he would have made the thing I thought it looked like, you could have potentially been chemically released from worrying. About anything.

Guinifer said...

The boys got instructions for the potato cannons on the internet. Just make sure they don't leave the old potatoes in the barrel. Puck picked it a week or so after it had not been cleaned, and voila, barf in the garage.